‘Hearing that your cops only shoot Blecks down in the street made us so nostalgic for Dr Verwoerd,’ say ‘Mandela Refugees’ seeking asylum
Following the recent wave of police killings of Blacks in the US, thousands of white South Africans described as ‘Mandela refugees’ are flooding across America’s southern borders in search of a new apartheid state.
Authorities in Arizona, Missouri and Texas say they are welcome and will be quickly resettled.
“These are like our brothers, man,” said Limp Dickswell, mayor of Pothole, AZ. “It’s not like they’re six-year old Mexican drug mules with cantaloupes for thighs.”
“They’re just normal, God-fearing racists who know how to run a white, segregated state. We look forward to learning from them,” he added.
Undocumented white South African immigrant, Tiny Braincell, said he was grateful for the U.S’s current border policies because they meant that he and his family could stay.
“Everyone knows only Mexicans and Muslims get deported,” he said. “Not South Africans, at least not white ones. Shoot, we’re so white and Christian and racist we’ll blend into the South like piss in a horse bucket. That’s one of our quaint little expressions. You won’t even know we’re there. I mean here.
“Besides,” Tiny went on in his broad Transvaal accent, “we Afrikaners have almost exactly the same history and attitudes as you, including centuries of slavery, institutional racism, denying the vote to the Blecks, as we call them, social segregation down the line and — the reason we’re here now — persecution by the communists, Jooz and liberals. We’re a perfect match.
Tiny’s wife Teenie chimed in: “We knew Dixie was the place for us as soon as we read that your cops only shoot Bleck people.
“It made us so nostalgic for Dr. Verwoerd, we just couldn’t not come.”
“Yeah,” said Tiny. “I wanna pack some heat, man, and soon. You never know when some Bleck thug will play his car music too loud. Hey, look, there’s a gun store now.”