Garden of Eden Serpent Denies Tempting Adam and Eve, Causing Fall of Man

‘The Bible story is just a hoax. It’s fake news. Apples for all!’ – Belly-Crawling Snake HELL – The Biblical serpent claimed last night that it was not responsible for the catastrophic Fall of Man recorded in Genesis. “Wasn’t me,” the Serpent hissed emphatically in an interview aired on Megyn Kelly on Sunday. “Sure, it might have been me, but it also could have been a lot of other fabled beasts. The Chimera. The Kraken.…

"Garden of Eden Serpent Denies Tempting Adam and Eve, Causing Fall of Man"

Ancestry.com Confirms Mitch McConnell is a ‘Direct Descendant’ of Dracula the Bloodsucking Vampire

“The only difference is, the more blood Sen. McConnell sucks, the paler he becomes’  – Report WASHINGTON – DNA analysis released by the genealogy company Ancestry.com confirms that Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell is directly related to the notorious Transylvanian vampire, Count Dracula. Also known as Vlad the Impaler because of his cruel method of executing his enemies, Dracula is reputed to have drunk the living blood from their necks in triumph. He slept in…

"Ancestry.com Confirms Mitch McConnell is a ‘Direct Descendant’ of Dracula the Bloodsucking Vampire"